Friends: Real and Imagined - Breathing Space Blog

Researchers from the National Opinion Research Center have found that people who watch a lot of television seem to be as psychologically content as people who have many friends. These disappointing findings stem from the fact that, "the human brain evolved long before television came along, so subconsciously it recognizes any face it sees regularly as a friend, even if it is on the screen," says Satoshi Kanazawa, Ph.D., author of the study.

Does the above explain why society remains in a stupor of overfed, undernourished, overweight, socially inept citizens? After all they are, indeed, getting their social and psychological strokes by tuning in to see their favorite "friends" each week.

As someone recently noted technology can certainly be an aid to human kind but if we are not careful it can greatly diminish of the quality of our lives. Technology distracts us from our own thought, daydreams, even our own imagination. When we fill in the time from the car to the elevator and the elevator to the office, or from lunch back to the office, with a beeper or cell phone, we interrupt the opportunity for people to marinate in their own imaginations.

Times Have Changed! - Breathing Space Blog

In 1904:

* The average life expectancy is 47 years.

* 14% of homes have a bathtub.

* 8% of homes have a telephone.

* A three-minute call from Denver to New York cost $11.

* There are 8,000 cars in the U.S. and 144 miles of paved roads.

* The maximum speed limit in most cities is 10 miles per hour.

* With 1.4 million residents, California is the 21st most populous state.

* Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee are each more heavily populated than California.

Okay, all the above seem archaic. Would you trade it, however, for a slower simpler life?

2020: Technology Bill of Rights - Breathing Space Blog

The Independent Worker's Technology Bill of Rights established by Larry Rosen Ph.D. and Michelle Weil Ph.D. in their classic book Technostress is well worth perusing in 2020.

Technology, say the authors puts independent workers in the driver's seat, so to speak. But it can create such dependency that it may even lead to questioning one's own creativity and capabilities. To keep technology in it's proper perspective, declare your independence;

         The Independent Worker's Technology Bill of Rights

 1. I am the boss, not my technology.

 2. Technology is available to help me express my creativity.

 3. I decide when to use the tools technology provides.

 4. I have the right to choose what technology to use and what to put aside.

 5. I can use technology to stay connected, informed, and productive -- my way.

 6. Technology offers a world of information. I get to choose what information

 7. Technology will pose problems, but I will be prepared to handle them.

 8. Technology can work 24-hour days, but I can choose when to begin and
    when to stop working.

 9. Technology never needs to rest, but I do.

10. I can work successfully by enforcing my boundary needs.

Work-Life Balance - Breathing Space Blog

Work-Life Balance: The Prevailing Issue of Our Times
                                  by Jeff Davidson

For several years now, those who apparently have no idea what work-life balance is and have virtually never experienced it are proclaiming that it is passé, in favor of work-life harmony, or work-life integration.

The truth is, these terms all mean approximately the same things. You can split hairs anyway you want, and I suppose that's a good way to differentiate a program if you're seeking to offer one to clients, but the reality is work-life balance is the overarching issue of our time that all career professionals strive to achieve.

As The Work-life Balance Expert®,® I define work-life balance as the ability to experience a sense of control and to stay productive and competitive at work while maintaining a happy, healthy home-life with sufficient leisure. It is attaining focus and awareness despite seemingly endless tasks and activities competing for your time and attention.

Work-life balance entails having some breathing space for yourself each day, feeling a sense of accomplishment while not being consumed by work, and having an enjoyable domestic life without short-changing career obligations. It is rooted in whatever fulfillment means to you within 24-hour days, seven-day weeks, and however many years you have left.

Supporting Disciplines
Several disciplines support work-life balance though, individually, none are synonymous with work-life balance:

1) Self Management
Sufficiently managing one's self can be challenging, particularly in getting proper sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Self-management is the recognition that effectively using the spaces in our lives is vital, and that life, time, and available resources are finite. It means becoming captain of our own ship; no one is coming to steer for us.

2) Time Management
Effective time management involves making optimal use of your day and the supporting resources that can be summoned – you can only keep pace when your resources match your challenges. Time management is enhanced through appropriate goals and discerning what is both important and urgent, versus important OR urgent. It entails understanding what you do best and when, and assembling the appropriate tools to accomplish specific tasks.

3) Stress Management
By nature, societies tend to become more complex over time. In the face of increasing complexity, stress on the individual is inevitable. More people, noise, and distractions, independent of one's individual circumstances, require each of us to become more adept at maintaining tranquility and being able to work ourselves out of pressure-filled situations. Most forms of multi-tasking ultimately increase our stress, while focusing on one thing at a time helps decrease stress.

4) Change Management
In our fast-paced world, change is virtually the only constant. Continually adopting new methods, adapting old, and re-adapting all methods is vital to a successful career and a happy home life. Effective change management involves offering periodic and concerted efforts so that the volume and rate of change at work and at home does not overwhelm or defeat you.

5) Technology Management
Effectively managing technology requires ensuring that technology serves you, rather than abuses you. Technology has always been with us, since the first walking stick, spear, flint, and wheel. Today, the rate of technological change is accelerating, brought on by vendors seeking expanding market share. Often you have no choice but to keep up with the technological Joneses, but rule technology, don’t let it rule you.

6) Leisure Management
The most overlooked of the work-life balance supporting disciplines, leisure management acknowledges the importance of rest and relaxation- that one can't short-change leisure, and that "time off" is a vital component of the human experience. Curiously, too much of the same leisure activity, however enjoyable, can lead to monotony. Thus, effective leisure management requires varying one's activities.

Entirely Achievable
Achieving work-life balance does not require radical changes in what you do. It is about developing fresh perspectives and sensible, actionable solutions that are appropriate for you. It is fully engaging in life with what you have, right where you are, smack dab in the ever-changing dynamics of your existence.

Public Discourse and Disclosure - Breathing Space Blog

A report from the Associated Press is distressing. "We're the YouTube Generation, living in the YouTube Era, in a YouTube World. And now we apparently have a YouTube Divorce. Some prominent New York divorce lawyers couldn't think of another case where a spouse -- in this instance, the wife of a major Broadway theater operator -- had taken to YouTube to spill the secrets of a marriage in an apparent effort to gain leverage and humiliate the other side."

"This is absolutely a new step, and I think it's scary," said Bonnie Rabin, a divorce lawyer who has handled high-profile cases. "People used to worry about getting on page six of the New York Post, the gossip page. But this? It brings the concept of humiliation to a whole new level."

Jeff's take: if only it would stop here. From high school beatings, to beheadings, to crime sprees, to what have you, the level of public discourse and disclosure is taking some severe and sordid turns. Should we all now tread as if candid camera is lurking around every corner?

Public Discourse and Disclosure - Breathing Space Blog

A report from the Associated Press is distressing. "We're the YouTube Generation, living in the YouTube Era, in a YouTube World. And now we apparently have a YouTube Divorce. Some prominent New York divorce lawyers couldn't think of another case where a spouse -- in this instance, the wife of a major Broadway theater operator -- had taken to YouTube to spill the secrets of a marriage in an apparent effort to gain leverage and humiliate the other side."

"This is absolutely a new step, and I think it's scary," said Bonnie Rabin, a divorce lawyer who has handled high-profile cases. "People used to worry about getting on page six of the New York Post, the gossip page. But this? It brings the concept of humiliation to a whole new level."

Jeff's take: if only it would stop here. From high school beatings, to beheadings, to crime sprees, to what have you, the level of public discourse and disclosure is taking some severe and sordid turns. Should we all now tread as if candid camera is lurking around every corner?

A Vehicle for Job Worries - Breathing Space Blog

A 2006 study published in the "Journal of Marriage and Family" finds that cell phone use has become a vehicle for job worries and problems to interfere with family life for both men and women. Cell phone technology is linked to increased psychological distress and lower family satisfaction in general for working men and women.

Upshot in 2018: Manage your cell phone after hours or it will quickly manage you.

A Vehicle for Job Worries - Breathing Space Blog

A 2006 study published in the "Journal of Marriage and Family" finds that cell phone use has become a vehicle for job worries and problems to interfere with family life for both men and women. Cell phone technology is linked to increased psychological distress and lower family satisfaction in general for working men and women.

Upshot in 2018: Manage your cell phone after hours or it will quickly manage you.

Audiobook: Work-Life Balance Starting Today - Breathing Space Blog

Technology was supposed to make us ultra-efficient, thereby enabling us to finish our projects and tasks faster and have more leisure time! How is that working out for you? Actually, as the pace of work and life accelerates, people everywhere find themselves striving for solutions to the constant time-pressure that they encounter.

Here's help:  Work-Life Balance Starting Today

Audiobook: Work-Life Balance Starting Today - Breathing Space Blog

Technology was supposed to make us ultra-efficient, thereby enabling us to finish our projects and tasks faster and have more leisure time! How is that working out for you? Actually, as the pace of work and life accelerates, people everywhere find themselves striving for solutions to the constant time-pressure that they encounter.

Here's help:  Work-Life Balance Starting Today

How TV Isolates Us from Each Other - Breathing Space Blog

Robert Putnam, Ph.D. Harvard professor of public policy and author of Bowling Alone, says, "For most of the 20th century, Americans were becoming more connected with family and friends, and there was more giving of blood and money, and all of those trend lines turn sharply in the middle '60s and have gone in the other direction ever since,"

Quoted years back in the Washington Post, he says, "Americans go on 60 percent fewer picnics today and families eat dinner together 40 percent less often compared with 1965, he said. They are less likely to meet at clubs or go bowling in groups. Putnam has estimated that every 10-minute increase in commutes makes it 10 percent less likely that people will establish and maintain close social ties."

"Television is a big part of the problem, he contends. Whereas 5 percent of U.S. households in 1950 owned television sets, 95 percent did a decade later."

How TV Isolates Us from Each Other - Breathing Space Blog

Robert Putnam, Ph.D. Harvard professor of public policy and author of Bowling Alone, says, "For most of the 20th century, Americans were becoming more connected with family and friends, and there was more giving of blood and money, and all of those trend lines turn sharply in the middle '60s and have gone in the other direction ever since,"

Quoted years back in the Washington Post, he says, "Americans go on 60 percent fewer picnics today and families eat dinner together 40 percent less often compared with 1965, he said. They are less likely to meet at clubs or go bowling in groups. Putnam has estimated that every 10-minute increase in commutes makes it 10 percent less likely that people will establish and maintain close social ties."

"Television is a big part of the problem, he contends. Whereas 5 percent of U.S. households in 1950 owned television sets, 95 percent did a decade later."

The Right Job with the Right Tools - Breathing Space Blog

Jerry Gitchel, president of Make Technology Work, explains the right tools for the right jobs for staying in touch with customers and associates.

* Instant Messaging from a computer or cell phone -- best for a quick answer to a specific question.

* Telephone -- best when used to brainstorm with others and for providing feedback on emotion and tone. It lacks the ability to archive or easily share info with a third party.

* Email -- best for frequent non-urgent communications if you remember that they are not private. Easy to forward, lasts forever.

* The web -- best when used to publish timeless information as desired for current or future customers or associates.

* Audioconference -- best for real-time communication and collaboration, enhanced when used with web-based documents.

* Online conferences -- best when you need to add video capability to a group event. Lacks continuity between separate events.

* Online collaboration -- best when used to create a comprehensive project management solution requiring document management, web publishing and/or support data, including images and video.

The Right Job with the Right Tools - Breathing Space Blog

Jerry Gitchel, president of Make Technology Work, explains the right tools for the right jobs for staying in touch with customers and associates.

* Instant Messaging from a computer or cell phone -- best for a quick answer to a specific question.

* Telephone -- best when used to brainstorm with others and for providing feedback on emotion and tone. It lacks the ability to archive or easily share info with a third party.

* Email -- best for frequent non-urgent communications if you remember that they are not private. Easy to forward, lasts forever.

* The web -- best when used to publish timeless information as desired for current or future customers or associates.

* Audioconference -- best for real-time communication and collaboration, enhanced when used with web-based documents.

* Online conferences -- best when you need to add video capability to a group event. Lacks continuity between separate events.

* Online collaboration -- best when used to create a comprehensive project management solution requiring document management, web publishing and/or support data, including images and video.

Over-dependency on Technology - Breathing Space Blog

Writing in the New York Times, David Brooks offered a brilliant article years back called "The Outsourced Brain," wherein he described how today's technology is aiding some people in abdicating from everyday decisions, and worse, even from basic thinking.

"The gurus seek bliss amidst mountaintop solitude and serenity in the meditative trance," he writes, "but I, grasshopper, have achieved the oneness with the universe that is known as pure externalization.

"I have melded my mind with the heavens, communed with the universal consciousness, and experienced the inner calm that externalization brings, and it all started because I bought a car with a G.P.S."

"Like many men, I quickly established a romantic attachment to my G.P.S. I found comfort in her tranquil and slightly Anglophilic voice. I felt warm and safe following her thin blue line. More than once I experienced her mercy, for each of my transgressions would be greeted by nothing worse than a gentle, Make a U-turn if possible.”

"After a few weeks, it occurred to me that I could no longer get anywhere without her. Any trip slightly out of the ordinary had me typing the address into her system and then blissfully following her satellite-fed commands. I found that I was quickly shedding all vestiges of geographic knowledge."

Over-dependency on Technology - Breathing Space Blog

Writing in the New York Times, David Brooks offered a brilliant article years back called "The Outsourced Brain," wherein he described how today's technology is aiding some people in abdicating from everyday decisions, and worse, even from basic thinking.

"The gurus seek bliss amidst mountaintop solitude and serenity in the meditative trance," he writes, "but I, grasshopper, have achieved the oneness with the universe that is known as pure externalization.

"I have melded my mind with the heavens, communed with the universal consciousness, and experienced the inner calm that externalization brings, and it all started because I bought a car with a G.P.S."

"Like many men, I quickly established a romantic attachment to my G.P.S. I found comfort in her tranquil and slightly Anglophilic voice. I felt warm and safe following her thin blue line. More than once I experienced her mercy, for each of my transgressions would be greeted by nothing worse than a gentle, Make a U-turn if possible.”

"After a few weeks, it occurred to me that I could no longer get anywhere without her. Any trip slightly out of the ordinary had me typing the address into her system and then blissfully following her satellite-fed commands. I found that I was quickly shedding all vestiges of geographic knowledge."

Within Your Grasp: Work-Life Balance - Breathing Space Blog

Work-Life Balance is within your grasp, and it all starts with the realization that the resources you assemble must meet or exceed your on-going challenges.  If not you will feel perpetually behind.

Several disciplines support work-life balance, though individually, none are synonymous with work-life balance:

            * Self Management
            * Time Management
            * Stress Management
            * Change Management
            * Technology Management
            * Leisure Management

1) Self Management
    Sufficiently managing one's self can be challenging, particularly in getting proper sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Self-management is the recognition that effectively using the spaces in our lives is vital, and that life, time, and available resources are finite. It means becoming captain of our own ship: no one is coming to steer for us.

2) Time Management
    Effective time management involves making optimal use of your day and the supporting resources that can be summoned, for you can only keep pace when your resources match your challenges. Time management is enhanced by creating appropriate goals and discerning what is both important and urgent versus what is important OR urgent. It entails understanding what you do best and when you do it best, and assembling the appropriate tools to accomplish specific tasks.

3) Stress Management
        By nature, societies tend to become more complex over time. In the face of increasing complexity, stress on the individual is inevitable. More people, more noise, and more distractions – independent of one's individual circumstances – require each of us to become more adept at maintaining tranquility and being able to work ourselves out of pressure-filled situations. Most forms of multi-tasking ultimately increase our stress, while focusing on one thing at a time helps decrease stress.

4) Change Management
        In our fast-paced world, change is virtually the only constant. Continually adopting new methods, adapting old methods, and re-adapting all methods are vital to a successful career and a happy home life. Effective change management involves offering periodic and concentrated efforts, so that the volume and rate of change at work and at home does not overwhelm or defeat you.

5) Technology Management
        Effectively managing technology requires ensuring that technology serves rather than abuses you. Technology has always been with us, since the first walking stick, spear, flint, and wheel. Today, the rate of technological change is accelerating, brought on by vendors who seek to expand their market share. Often, you have no choice but to keep up with the technological "Joneses;" still, you rule technology – don't let it rule you.

6) Leisure Management
        The most overlooked of the work-life balance supporting disciplines, leisure management acknowledges the importance of rest and relaxation – that one can't short-change leisure, and that "time off" is a vital component of the human experience. Curiously, too much of the same leisure activity, however enjoyable, can lead to monotony. Thus, effective leisure management requires varying one's activities.

Within Your Grasp: Work-Life Balance - Breathing Space Blog

Work-Life Balance is within your grasp, and it all starts with the realization that the resources you assemble must meet or exceed your on-going challenges.  If not you will feel perpetually behind.

Several disciplines support work-life balance, though individually, none are synonymous with work-life balance:

            * Self Management
            * Time Management
            * Stress Management
            * Change Management
            * Technology Management
            * Leisure Management

1) Self Management
    Sufficiently managing one's self can be challenging, particularly in getting proper sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Self-management is the recognition that effectively using the spaces in our lives is vital, and that life, time, and available resources are finite. It means becoming captain of our own ship: no one is coming to steer for us.

2) Time Management
    Effective time management involves making optimal use of your day and the supporting resources that can be summoned, for you can only keep pace when your resources match your challenges. Time management is enhanced by creating appropriate goals and discerning what is both important and urgent versus what is important OR urgent. It entails understanding what you do best and when you do it best, and assembling the appropriate tools to accomplish specific tasks.

3) Stress Management
        By nature, societies tend to become more complex over time. In the face of increasing complexity, stress on the individual is inevitable. More people, more noise, and more distractions – independent of one's individual circumstances – require each of us to become more adept at maintaining tranquility and being able to work ourselves out of pressure-filled situations. Most forms of multi-tasking ultimately increase our stress, while focusing on one thing at a time helps decrease stress.

4) Change Management
        In our fast-paced world, change is virtually the only constant. Continually adopting new methods, adapting old methods, and re-adapting all methods are vital to a successful career and a happy home life. Effective change management involves offering periodic and concentrated efforts, so that the volume and rate of change at work and at home does not overwhelm or defeat you.

5) Technology Management
        Effectively managing technology requires ensuring that technology serves rather than abuses you. Technology has always been with us, since the first walking stick, spear, flint, and wheel. Today, the rate of technological change is accelerating, brought on by vendors who seek to expand their market share. Often, you have no choice but to keep up with the technological "Joneses;" still, you rule technology – don't let it rule you.

6) Leisure Management
        The most overlooked of the work-life balance supporting disciplines, leisure management acknowledges the importance of rest and relaxation – that one can't short-change leisure, and that "time off" is a vital component of the human experience. Curiously, too much of the same leisure activity, however enjoyable, can lead to monotony. Thus, effective leisure management requires varying one's activities.

A "Technology Bill of Rights" - Breathing Space Blog

Technology puts independent workers in the driver's seat, so to speak. But it can create such dependency, say my pals, Larry Rosen and Michelle Weil, that it might even lead to questioning one's own creativity and capabilities. To keep technology in it's proper perspective, they say to declare your independence.

1. I am the boss, not my technology.
2. Technology is available to help me express my creativity.
3. I decide when to use the tools technology provides.
4. I have the right to choose what technology to use and what to put aside.
5. I can use technology to stay connected, informed, and productive – my way.

6. Technology offers a world of information. I get to choose what information is important to me.
7. Technology will have problems, but I will be prepared to handle them.
8. Technology can work 24-hour days, but I can choose when to begin and when to stop working.
9. Technology never needs to rest, but I do.
10. I can work successfully by enforcing my boundary needs.

Source: Technostress by Larry Rosen Ph.D. and Michelle Weil PhD.

A "Technology Bill of Rights" - Breathing Space Blog

Technology puts independent workers in the driver's seat, so to speak. But it can create such dependency, say my pals, Larry Rosen and Michelle Weil, that it might even lead to questioning one's own creativity and capabilities. To keep technology in it's proper perspective, they say to declare your independence.

1. I am the boss, not my technology.
2. Technology is available to help me express my creativity.
3. I decide when to use the tools technology provides.
4. I have the right to choose what technology to use and what to put aside.
5. I can use technology to stay connected, informed, and productive – my way.

6. Technology offers a world of information. I get to choose what information is important to me.
7. Technology will have problems, but I will be prepared to handle them.
8. Technology can work 24-hour days, but I can choose when to begin and when to stop working.
9. Technology never needs to rest, but I do.
10. I can work successfully by enforcing my boundary needs.

Source: Technostress by Larry Rosen Ph.D. and Michelle Weil PhD.