"When You Can You Will" - Breathing Space Blog

Notes from When You Can You Will by Lynne Bernfield, Berkley Books

▪ Subtitle: Why you Can't Always do What You Want to do.. and What to do about it.

▪ You can't hurry change. In our instant soup society you're encouraged to do more, be more, have more, and achieve more. Technology enables us to accomplish more faster. No matter how quickly society moves however, human beings still have to be ready before they can make certain changes.

▪ Human change is evolutionary. You might have to try on the change several times before you're accustomed to the way it feels.

Easy or Hard?
▪ Even if you don't know you're ready to change, your subconscious will know. It will help you to change the easy way or the hard way.

▪ Changes made the easy way are effortless. You often find yourself thinking, saying, and doing things that would have been unthinkable even the day before.

▪ Changes made the hard way can be difficult, unpleasant, and even frightening. You might feel as if you're breaking down or disintegrating, when in fact this will lead to the changes you need to make.

Your Cover Story
▪ Everyone has a cover story, a detailed explanation of who they are and who they are not. Once you discover your cover story, you're free to move on from it.

▪ Pretending to be something you're not means denying something you are. Human beings all come well-equipped with the capacity for denial.

▪ When you ask yourself the question, "What will happen if I make this change?", the answers may tell you exactly what is blocking your path to change. Being more successful might require you to perform better, take more risks, live up to your reputation or say no.

Airline Travel and Stress - Breathing Space Blog

Airline travel has become increasingly stressful in the last few years. Consider the following: Once you arrive at the airport grounds, there's the issue of parking the car, making your way to the shuttle, and so forth. The delays you can experience once you're actually at the airport can exceed the time it took you to get to the airport.

Inside the airport, you have to either check your bags, or, if you're wiser, use rolling luggage or all carry-ons and make your way directly through TSA "the system." You have to clear the line that already forming and ensure that you have the right ticket, and the right identification. Finally, it's time to get on the plane.

Once you board the plane, you have to sit in a chair that was designed to seat the greatest number of people possible in the plane's cabin, not for your comfort. The shoulder width of most seat backs is two to three inches fewer than the typical adult male's shoulder span. The leg room is nonexistent. Unless you choose the bulkhead row or emergency exit row, or happen to be in first-class, forget about having an enjoyable flight.

Then there's the forced air within the plane. The air is actually drier than most of the world's deserts. You get a tiny beverage served every 30 to 60 minutes.

If you're on a single aisle plane, making your way to the bathroom problematic. The thought of stretching or getting any kind of exercise is nearly out of the question unless you're very adept at seated exercises. Finally, when you're about to begin eating, the pilot will announce, "We're heading into turbulence."

Ritual: by Emma Restall Orr - Breathing Space Blog

Notes from Ritual: A Guide to Life, Love, and Inspiration by Emma Restall Orr

* In our busy modern schedules, rituals are often seriously lacking.  Yet, they can bring richness and meaning to our daily habits.

* We can use rituals to bring the sacred into everyday life.

* A walk through the park or lighting a candle to welcome the day allows us to reconnect with each other and our own psych.

* In an era when many of us live far from our families and most people don’t know their neighbors, rituals offer a feeling of community and belonging.

* Rituals enrich our sense of who we are both individually and collectively. 

* Rituals can be easily adapted to suit any event or occasions and fit within any reader’s own spiritual tradition. 

 * Rituals can be devised to celebrate a marriage, welcome and name a child, deal with grief, deepen our creativity, heighten our sexuality, enhance our mealtimes, and energize our lives throughout the life cycle.

Meaning in the Everyday - Breathing Space Blog

 

I recently re-read LifeCraft: The Art of Meaning in the Everyday by Forest Church, Beacon (1999) which contained some eye-opening assertions.The author says that to a greater or lesser degree everyone shares the following characteristics. They are:

* Self conscious about their appearance

* Feeling guilty about things that they have done or have failed to do

* Sometimes have a hard time accepting themselves or forgiving others

* Have secrets which they feel may betray them at any moment

* Fail in ways that matter both to themselves and their loved ones
   ...despite success in other aspects of their lives

* Feel stressful, as if happiness is fleeting.

* Worry about aging or concerned with dying

* Have been betrayed

* Wonder what is the meaning of life.

Emotional Longevity - Breathing Space Blog

A mini review of Emotional Longevity by Norman Anderson

    Why do optimists have lower blood pressure and heightened immunity? Why have studies found asthmatics breathe easier after writing down traumatic events? And how is it that good relationships are a buffer against everything from heart disease to the common cold and religious observance so often goes hand-in-hand with longevity

    Norman Anderson, CEO of the American Psychological Association, believes in a new approach to health as a way to understand longevity. Instead of the traditional view of physical health, Anderson says the interaction of six "well-being" factors can explain the differences in longevity.

        1) biological
        2) psychological
        3) behavioral
        4) economic
        5) religious/spiritual
        6) emotional

    * He argues that there must be a scientific explanation for why some people recover from serious illness such as a heart attack while other patients remain disabled.

    * This multifaceted approach goes beyond the increasing acceptance of nontraditional medicine; it is an entirely new way to approach life, with specific medical support.

Older and Wiser - Breathing Space Blog

Behavioral scientists have long believed that old age and cognitive decline went hand-in-hand. Now, it appears that rather than cognitively declining, we are simply accumulating more and more information. This accumulation causes us to be a little slower when it comes to recalling specific details, but we're actually smarter as we age.

As our median age of membership increases, dispelling the myth of cognitive decline is encouraging to NSA members because it broadens an array of possibilities for our advancing years and those of our audiences. Do you want to tackle an intellectual challenge which, until this point in your life, has not been on the front burner? You have the capability.

Reference: "The Myth of Cognitive Decline: Non-linear Dynamics of Lifelong Learning" by Michael Ramscar, et al. In Topics in Cognitive Science, volume 6, issue 1, pages 5 to 42, January 2014.

Heavy Personal Debt is no Joy - Breathing Space Blog

An AP report indicated that "Americans are falling behind on their credit card payments at an alarming rate. Racking up heavy personal debt is the antithesis to Breathing Space!