You Cannot Control Much - Breathing Space Blog

A reader comments; “I could be more responsible regarding use of my time but certainly there are some things that are out of my control...”

Yes, for one thing your productive work life is finite. You will only be able to work for so many years at such and such a pace. One day that will no longer be possible. The big absolute, of course, is that life is finite and death is guaranteed, so far. If you are in your thirties, you have about 12,000 to 14,000 days and that's it.

Day to day, change is out of your control – it is guaranteed that how you used to do it or what worked yesterday will have less and less value with each passing day. You certainly want some stability in your life particularly in the areas of values and relationships, but don't fear change or close yourself off to it.

Five Mega-Realities of Life - Breathing Space Blog

The five mega-realities of life serve as a framework to understanding change and how we can adjust our thinking and activities to maintain some semblance of control.

Sitting right where you are, what you now know about population — the fact that the world gains more than a quarter million people per day enables you to safely predict the following:

1) Investing in real estate, more specifically a home, now while prices are depressed and interest rates are low will be a sound financial move almost independent of your economic station in life.

2) Adopting a somewhat contrarian mindset will prove to be advantageous. Attempting to head into the city or out of the city at the same time as everyone, or booking theater or restaurant reservations at the same time as everyone else will be problematic or increasingly so as time passes. Commutes in all directions will become more arduous. Hence, living closer to work, living closer to shopping and conveniences, telecommuting occasionally, and shopping online will only grow in attractiveness and utility.

3) Old friends become more valued friends. Anchors such as family, close business associates, former college roommates and those who have shared experiences with us become more important with the passing of time. This is not to downplay the role of new friends, for indeed they can become great friends and eventually even old friends!

Out of Control? - Breathing Space Blog

Early warning signs when you’re heading for an "out of control" situation: Control is always based on your perception; still any time you start stacking horizontal piles on your desk you are operating in a malfunctioning mode.

If you find yourself perpetually 5 to 10 minutes late for meetings and always handling activities up to the last minute before turning your attention to what is next, you are leaving yourself wide open for some anxious moments. Also if you don't give yourself enough physical space to handle a task you are also likely to feel out of control.

Out of Control? - Breathing Space Blog

Early warning signs when you’re heading for an "out of control" situation: Control is always based on your perception; still any time you start stacking horizontal piles on your desk you are operating in a malfunctioning mode.

If you find yourself perpetually 5 to 10 minutes late for meetings and always handling activities up to the last minute before turning your attention to what is next, you are leaving yourself wide open for some anxious moments. Also if you don't give yourself enough physical space to handle a task you are also likely to feel out of control.

A Better Commute - Breathing Space Blog

1. Keep your car in top shape. Take it in for servicing if you even suspect something is askew.

2. Join an automotive club. They pay for themselves after one tow.

3. Wean yourself of flicking on the radio the moment you step into the car, or of listening to shock talkers who offer little to your life. Instead...

4. Install a CD player to control your environment to and from work. Patronize your local library for lectures, plays, books, and music on CD.

5. Ride with the windows closed and the A/C on. You'll get the same MPG as otherwise, the ride will to be quieter, and you'll have more control of your immediate environment.

6. Keep spare car keys in your house and spare house keys hidden in a faithful "Hide-a-Key" compartment which magnetically attaches under the bumper.

7. Hide several quarters, key phone numbers, a pad, and a pen in your car.

8. During your ride, reflect on what you'd like to complete or how you'd like your day to go.

A Better Commute - Breathing Space Blog

1. Keep your car in top shape. Take it in for servicing if you even suspect something is askew.

2. Join an automotive club. They pay for themselves after one tow.

3. Wean yourself of flicking on the radio the moment you step into the car, or of listening to shock talkers who offer little to your life. Instead...

4. Install a CD player to control your environment to and from work. Patronize your local library for lectures, plays, books, and music on CD.

5. Ride with the windows closed and the A/C on. You'll get the same MPG as otherwise, the ride will to be quieter, and you'll have more control of your immediate environment.

6. Keep spare car keys in your house and spare house keys hidden in a faithful "Hide-a-Key" compartment which magnetically attaches under the bumper.

7. Hide several quarters, key phone numbers, a pad, and a pen in your car.

8. During your ride, reflect on what you'd like to complete or how you'd like your day to go.

Time Tested Book: Willpower - Breathing Space Blog

From the publisher: "In Willpower, the pioneering researcher Roy F. Baumeister collaborates with renowned New York Times science writer John Tierney to revolutionize our understanding of the most coveted human virtue: self-control."
 
"In what became one of the most cited papers in social science literature, Baumeister discovered that willpower actually operates like a muscle: it can be strengthened with practice and fatigued by overuse. Willpower is fueled by glucose, and it can be bolstered simply by replenishing the brain's store of fuel."

"That's why eating and sleeping- and especially failing to do either of those-have such dramatic effects on self-control (and why dieters have such a hard time resisting temptation)."
'

Time Tested Book: Willpower - Breathing Space Blog

From the publisher: "In Willpower, the pioneering researcher Roy F. Baumeister collaborates with renowned New York Times science writer John Tierney to revolutionize our understanding of the most coveted human virtue: self-control."
 
"In what became one of the most cited papers in social science literature, Baumeister discovered that willpower actually operates like a muscle: it can be strengthened with practice and fatigued by overuse. Willpower is fueled by glucose, and it can be bolstered simply by replenishing the brain's store of fuel."

"That's why eating and sleeping- and especially failing to do either of those-have such dramatic effects on self-control (and why dieters have such a hard time resisting temptation)."
'

Stay in Control - Breathing Space Blog

A reader laments: Many days I am in control for most of the morning and part of the afternoon, but then all of the sudden, like a train derailment, everything seems scattered and out of control.

I suggest that you take mental pauses throughout the day, particularly as new developments occur. The best laid plans often go astray and those people who are able to maintain control know when to let go of one activity and redirect their focus towards another.

Remember as well that being in control is more related to how you feel about the situation than the presence of evidence. Keep reminding yourself that you are, in fact, in control. Ten minutes before the end of the day if your boss springs a one-hour assignment on you that must be done immediately, you can regard this as a major intrusion in your day or you can see it as a professional challenge or an opportunity to demonstrate your overall value to your company. Make a note of the times you have taken on such challenges and bring them up particularly at raise times.

Before, during, and after handling the late assignment thrown on your lap, keep considering the many benefits of completing it. These include learning something new, practicing maintaining grace under fire, and serving as a reminder for you to discuss this type of situation with your boss so that it doesn't happen too frequently.

Stay in Control - Breathing Space Blog

A reader laments: Many days I am in control for most of the morning and part of the afternoon, but then all of the sudden, like a train derailment, everything seems scattered and out of control.

I suggest that you take mental pauses throughout the day, particularly as new developments occur. The best laid plans often go astray and those people who are able to maintain control know when to let go of one activity and redirect their focus towards another.

Remember as well that being in control is more related to how you feel about the situation than the presence of evidence. Keep reminding yourself that you are, in fact, in control. Ten minutes before the end of the day if your boss springs a one-hour assignment on you that must be done immediately, you can regard this as a major intrusion in your day or you can see it as a professional challenge or an opportunity to demonstrate your overall value to your company. Make a note of the times you have taken on such challenges and bring them up particularly at raise times.

Before, during, and after handling the late assignment thrown on your lap, keep considering the many benefits of completing it. These include learning something new, practicing maintaining grace under fire, and serving as a reminder for you to discuss this type of situation with your boss so that it doesn't happen too frequently.

Year End Breathing Space Perspective - Breathing Space Blog

A reader asks: In your books you write that we are control and responsible for how our time is used each day, but I don't feel that way. How do I increase my feeling of control and sense of responsibility for how my time is consumed?

The Breathing Space Perspective:

1. Begin to recognize your routine, time-guzzling behaviors such as ceremoniously arranging the items on your desk, over-reading the newspaper, or scouring the web.

2. Avoid playing the victim. Stop believing that external circumstances cause you to be time-pressed while not acknowledging your participation and willingness to be a victim.

3. Take ownership; that is, lay claim and accept responsibility for what occurs in your life. "Own" your time.

Year End Breathing Space Perspective - Breathing Space Blog

A reader asks: In your books you write that we are control and responsible for how our time is used each day, but I don't feel that way. How do I increase my feeling of control and sense of responsibility for how my time is consumed?

The Breathing Space Perspective:

1. Begin to recognize your routine, time-guzzling behaviors such as ceremoniously arranging the items on your desk, over-reading the newspaper, or scouring the web.

2. Avoid playing the victim. Stop believing that external circumstances cause you to be time-pressed while not acknowledging your participation and willingness to be a victim.

3. Take ownership; that is, lay claim and accept responsibility for what occurs in your life. "Own" your time.

Messing With Your Appetite - Breathing Space Blog

The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite is compelling reading, perhaps the most eye-opening book on our relationship to food and how to reclaim it that I have ever encountered.

With a laser-like focus, author Dr. David Kessler, former head of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, explains in graphic terms how -- through no mass conspiracy to make us fat -- food manufacturers, producers, and servers offer us caloric bombs which we willingly wolf down. He pinpoints how, within the last few decades, 10,000 years of human consumption patterns have been completely overturned.

Messing With Your Appetite - Breathing Space Blog

The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite is compelling reading, perhaps the most eye-opening book on our relationship to food and how to reclaim it that I have ever encountered.

With a laser-like focus, author Dr. David Kessler, former head of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, explains in graphic terms how -- through no mass conspiracy to make us fat -- food manufacturers, producers, and servers offer us caloric bombs which we willingly wolf down. He pinpoints how, within the last few decades, 10,000 years of human consumption patterns have been completely overturned.

Go From Breakdown to Control - Breathing Space Blog

Do you find yourself in control for most of the morning and part of the afternoon, but then all of the sudden, like a train derailment, everything seems scattered and out of control?

Take mental pauses throughout the day, particularly as new developments occur. The best laid plans often go astray and those people who are able to maintain control know when to let go of one activity and redirect their focus towards another.

Remember that being in control is more related to how you feel about the situation than the presence of evidence. Keep reminding yourself that you are, in fact, in control. Ten minutes before the end of the day if your boss springs a one-hour assignment on you that must be done immediately, you can regard this as a major intrusion in your day or you can see it as a professional challenge or an opportunity to demonstrate your overall value to your company.

Make a note of the times you have taken on such challenges and bring them up particularly at raise times. Also before, during, and after handling the late assignment thrown on your lap, keep considering the many benefits of completing it. These include learning something new, practicing maintaining grace under fire, and serving as a reminder for you to discuss this type of situation with your boss so that it doesn't happen too frequently.

Go From Breakdown to Control - Breathing Space Blog

Do you find yourself in control for most of the morning and part of the afternoon, but then all of the sudden, like a train derailment, everything seems scattered and out of control?

Take mental pauses throughout the day, particularly as new developments occur. The best laid plans often go astray and those people who are able to maintain control know when to let go of one activity and redirect their focus towards another.

Remember that being in control is more related to how you feel about the situation than the presence of evidence. Keep reminding yourself that you are, in fact, in control. Ten minutes before the end of the day if your boss springs a one-hour assignment on you that must be done immediately, you can regard this as a major intrusion in your day or you can see it as a professional challenge or an opportunity to demonstrate your overall value to your company.

Make a note of the times you have taken on such challenges and bring them up particularly at raise times. Also before, during, and after handling the late assignment thrown on your lap, keep considering the many benefits of completing it. These include learning something new, practicing maintaining grace under fire, and serving as a reminder for you to discuss this type of situation with your boss so that it doesn't happen too frequently.

A Little More Heaven on Earth - Breathing Space Blog

         The big issue behind Breathing Space is creating a little more heaven on earth, for yourself and those around you.

         What would your life be like if you had the ability to drop back when you wanted or needed to do so?  To have time for true rest and relaxation?  To have time for quiet reflection?  Breathing Space encompasses all of these factors.

         Despite the pace of change in society – the constant development of new technology, all the paper and information that confronts you on a daily basis, and everything that competes for your time and attention, you have the ever-present opportunity to remain resilient.

        When you carve out even a few moments of Breathing Space for yourself, the world is a different place; it doesn't seem so hectic.  Often, things work out for the best.  You continually have a sense of control and are almost independent of your environment.  The feeling of being in control of your life, while acknowledging that you’re only a small part in the overall scheme of things, enhances your experience of the world around and within you, every day.

A Little More Heaven on Earth - Breathing Space Blog

         The big issue behind Breathing Space is creating a little more heaven on earth, for yourself and those around you.

         What would your life be like if you had the ability to drop back when you wanted or needed to do so?  To have time for true rest and relaxation?  To have time for quiet reflection?  Breathing Space encompasses all of these factors.

         Despite the pace of change in society – the constant development of new technology, all the paper and information that confronts you on a daily basis, and everything that competes for your time and attention, you have the ever-present opportunity to remain resilient.

        When you carve out even a few moments of Breathing Space for yourself, the world is a different place; it doesn't seem so hectic.  Often, things work out for the best.  You continually have a sense of control and are almost independent of your environment.  The feeling of being in control of your life, while acknowledging that you’re only a small part in the overall scheme of things, enhances your experience of the world around and within you, every day.

New York Times feature - Breathing Space Blog

I am featured today in the New York Times on the topic of having more Breathing Space and on simpler living. Simpler Living is entering its 5th week as the #1 Amazon best-seller on Earth, in do-it-yourself books. Thanks to all buyers and reviewers. Let me know if you'd like the hard copy book at 60% off.

New York Times feature - Breathing Space Blog

I am featured today in the New York Times on the topic of having more Breathing Space and on simpler living. Simpler Living is entering its 5th week as the #1 Amazon best-seller on Earth, in do-it-yourself books. Thanks to all buyers and reviewers. Let me know if you'd like the hard copy book at 60% off.